that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
