Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
