im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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