some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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