fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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