Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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