I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
