NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
