Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
my poor anus
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
