With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
