Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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