You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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