I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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