apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Randomize
