Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
