this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
