You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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