someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
