just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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