If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I need to stop coming to work sober
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
