well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Im part way to drunk.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
