Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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