I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I look better un-naked...
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
