I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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