The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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