Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
