just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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