playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I smell like Dick and happiness
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
