It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
