Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
