nut hugger
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
