I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
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