Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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