i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
As shirtless as possible
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
