I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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