We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
it's like iHOP with fire
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
