How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
