this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
