I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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