Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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