I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
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