Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
