My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
