Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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