So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
