yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
