what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
