So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
