Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
