whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
