i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
