so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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