i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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