Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
