she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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