Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
