i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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