How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
