Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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