so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
