Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
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