Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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