Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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