and you said cock pushups were impossible
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
