i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
