Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
My penis needs a shock collar
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
