one might say we're banned from that church
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
