I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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